Samantha Rochard's piece for Mystic Intervention was The Moon Tree ... a tree containing little gifts bags of seeds and a small candle. Each kind of seed had its own meaning (e.g. I got Sunflower seeds, representing 'recognition of achievements'). The idea was for the 'giftee' to devise and perform a personal ritual while planting his or her seeds ... and to subsequently nurture them, thereby nurturing the promise inherent in the seeds.Yesterday, from the moment I woke up, I was focused and absorbed, busy cleaning and clearing, throwing away, playing some good music in the background as I did so. I was feeling purposeful, happy about lightening up the energy, about the feeling of clearing space and getting rid of 'old', excited about new things to come and that "Life is good ..."
Then at one point, around 3 p.m., I stopped, sat down ... and suddenly started to feel very low in energy. Everything within me dropped and I just sat there. My sense of focus and purpose quickly turned to disillusionment, apathy and doubt as I slipped into the 'What am I doing with my life? Does any of what I do make sense? Why do I do it?" mode that I sometimes slip into after I've poured a significant amount of energy into a project that leaves me empty after, with nothing visible or tangible to show for it ... but yet with a great intangible, energetic feeling. In other words, the kinds of projects that I really love doing and would happily absorb myself in, that come from the heart and spirit, that really touch and move people and myself in the process ... but which don't (yet) seem to translate into the 'real world' of buying material necessities and paying bills ...
After a few minutes of pensive moping, I suddenly remembered the little yellow bag with the candle and Sunflower seeds ...
I immediately got up, went outside with it, found an empty pot, filled it with rich soil (the same soil I used for Melanie the Miracle Melon) and planted the three seeds.
The three seeds ... and one little piece of something that looks like it belonged with them.
Making a hole for the last seed
I placed the pot in the little garden outside of my bedroom window, close to Melanie.
Then went indoors and placed the candle from the little gift bag in this small candle holder on the bookshelf in my new clean, light space.Doing this activity, I felt my energy shift. Even though so small an act, I felt that something big had happened. At the very least, it distracted me from my own mind. Now as I sit here writing this, I know that the doubt, disillusionment and apathy I was feeling in that moment yesterday were caused by me projecting ahead of 'the now' (Desirée, if you're reading this, I dropped that link in for you) and worrying about what I really don't need to worry about.
In the moment of worrying about bills or buying things do I actually have to pay a bill or buy anything?
No.
So why worry about it?
In the moment of worrying about bills or buying things do I actually have to pay a bill or buy anything?
No.
So why worry about it?
Sniff sniff...... I am touched.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what the little something was, probably a little peice from the center of the flower that used to grow on our balcony. Your seeds brothers and sisters have had a three week head start. They usually flower within six weeks. Let one dry in the pot and keep the seeds for more.
The act really shifts focus. I have to do the same thing. When I go through a bouyant period, I have a crash as well. I have given up on trying to make art pay my bills and decided to do it for the love.
I am glad you had the experience, I do a ritual about once a month...there isn't a format..I wing it.......
I do 'rituals' every day. Life is one big ritual. Sometimes we just do it more specifically.
ReplyDeleteRe Art ... it will always be
'for love' and I don't like thinking of it as something that's for 'paying bills', but (when I'm not in that doubting mood), I do believe that it's for prosperity and that prosperity will always come in some form when we do what we really love - whether directly through the thing we love or not.
I planted Sunflower seeds on Christmas Day (2004) and they bloomed on Valentine's Day 2005.
True, true..
ReplyDeleteI'm floored by your honesty in your words. What is significant and what not, very difficult to say..only thing is to listen to your heart...heart only say about compassion and love and if it says something else that means it is intellect saying, if not heart.
Whatever, you are doing it is correct if a positive energy imbibes in you.
If we try to evaluate ourselves from the eyes of others, it will always become subjective. Our objective of our life must be find some objective and stick to it. Do our duties silently and rest leave to Him. He will take care of everything.
So true, Subhajit.
ReplyDeleteGlad you came out of your funk...and my only concern now is that the pot may not be large enough for THREE Sun flower plants.
ReplyDeleteThey should grow tall and huge. Might have been better to put directly into the ground????
Let me know how it turns out.
Love sunflowers!
The pot is just a nursery for them until they sprout strongly - at which point I'll transplant them. Growing in the ground they risk being uprooted by the gardener if he thinks they're weeds ... or trampled on by Jasper.
ReplyDelete