Saturday, September 5, 2009

Home(s)

Final glimpses of Toronto ... until the next time


I've been back in TT since Wednesday 2 September at 11:00 p.m. Things have been really busy since then, which is good because it keeps me occupied and focused, with no time for longing ... (and as you can see, not much time for blogging either).

My inner seed sprouted and flourished while I was away. It took root in a new landscape. It received water and the right nutrients. I feel different.

What is it about Toronto that feels like "home" to me? There I feel possible, awakened, enlivened, understood, accepted, reflected, connected and, most importantly, at home in myself. It's important to feel 'at home' in ourselves wherever we are, but it's an added bonus when the external location reflects, allows, embraces and supports.

Strange being back in TT. Hot, sticky, humid. I'm seeing it through different eyes. Not quite sure how exactly. It's only been two or three days and I'm not completely 'here' yet.

As much as I love Toronto and feel more of an affinity with it, I won't compare it to TT and say that one is better than the other. Everywhere has it's pros and cons and it's up to us what we do (or don't do) with them.

Yesterday morning I went to the stationery place I always go to, to photocopy something. Before the employee began photocopying, I realised I had brought the wallet I'd been using in Toronto and not my other wallet that had TT money in it. I said to the employee: "I need to go back home and get my wallet."

He said: "Let me do these photocopies for you first. Then you can go home and get your wallet."
Even though it was a small job, it still struck me that he trusted me to come back and pay.

As I walked out, I said to the girl at the counter: "This costs 79 cents, but I need to go home and get my wallet to pay for it."

She said "Okay." Then her face brightened as she realised it was me and she exclaimed: "Gosh, we haven't seen you in such a long time!" She looked happy.

I told her I had been away.

As I drove home to get my wallet, I thought of how they trusted me and had been aware of my absence. Simple, but says a lot.

No comments: