Who are you out there?

Early morning sun through my bedroom window

This blog is like a window. You can see in to me (as much as I reveal on any given day) but I don't really see you. I "see" some people, like Lynn and Param Atma . . . and I know there are people who read the blog but don't leave comments here. They may email or say something in person.

But I often think it would be nice to know something of whoever else is out there checking in regularly or from time to time. Even if just for today, will you introduce yourself and say a little something?

A quick hello

As you can see, I haven't been blogging daily. It's now more of a weekly occurrence. In the past I would wake up pre-dawn, do yoga, then blog and go for a walk (or walk and then blog).

I still do yoga and walk, but blogging is somehow no longer in my daily radar of commitment. Maybe I've just taken an involuntary hiatus. Maybe I'll blog more when I get to Canada.

Who knows . . .

The social media cacophony

The world, the internet, full of so many people at the same time all wanting to be seen, heard, noticed, responded to, accepted, wanting to belong, wanting to find self, to find other, to be found by other, to find information, to find love, to create fame, to express, to promote, to connect ... an endless spectrum of reasons.

If people were pixels there would be a trillion kazillion billion million infinitillion many pixels. Each of us - no matter who we are - would be just one pixel, making up a big picture, but almost invisible on our own in comparison to the whole.

Sometimes it feels like rooms full of people, all talking at once - sometimes even shouting. We all add to the cacophony.

What are we saying and why? (Myself included).

Touching base

Letters on the wall with the name of the project
*

Blogging has been sporadic as of late. I haven't even been checking in on other blogs that I normally peruse. Where in the world is Melanie now? What has Henry has been up to and what new art has Lynn created? What awareness-raising adventures has Kelly had as of late?

... etc.

I've been busy and making concerted efforts to keep focused. Every day, as always, I write out my 'list of things' to do. These days the list is up in the twenties, with "little" and "big" things. Yesterday morning it was at 22 things to do. I remained focused and steady throughout the day and got most of it done.

By nightfall, only seven items were left. Crossing off the completed items is a pleasurable feeling, akin to playing Tetris and seeing the boxes disappear.

As I write this, it's 4:25 a.m. Off to Tobago on the first flight this morning (5:45 a.m.) to continue photography for this project.

Back tonight.

Quick post

Been busy.
Time flies.
Friend coming to spend a few weeks for Christmas. She arrives on 22 December. Tomorrow!
Going to malls, etc is draining ... hence only went once and bought nothing.
Only buying "big" gifts for immediate family.
Simple, meaningful tokens and/or intangibles (hug, kiss & well-wishes) for friends.
Work I want to finish before end of 2009: complete editing music video for Mawasi.
Working on new music - exploring.
Doing yoga.
Can't believe this year is almost done!
Looking forward to 2010.
Goal of making money money money to manifest my goals.

Seek and find

The other day the blogger called Location Laura left a comment on my blog. Thereafter I checked hers out ... and then she invited me to do something, which I did.

Go to her page, scroll down and click on the icon to which you think I would most be drawn. If you know me it should be easy. There you'll find the result of what she asked me to do.

'Knowing' 'Friends' in 'real' life

The Trini Blogger, Girlblue (who I've met in person a few times) wrote a post today that is so true. She mentions how she met up with a visiting Blogger and took him and his son up to Maracas for Bake & Shark ... then muses "Its funny though and made me think, we would go out of our way to visit with foreign blog type people but would rarely make the effort of meeting the local ones we read all the time, funny that. Ah well ..."

Hmmmmmmm. I guess a (prophet) Blogger isn't recognized in his/her own town.

Some TT bloggers are anonymous, so unless they reveal themselves to you, you may never know who they are. Maybe it's easier to take for granted that "so and so is from TT" and the place is so small that you're sure to bounce them up one day on the street or in the grocery (somewhere "mundane") ... or you've already seen them around, so it's nothing new and exciting to see or meet them 'in real life' ... (?)

Or maybe, for some, meeting 'in real life' takes away the mystery and allure ... either for the reader ... or for the Blogger him/her self, who finds it easier as an unknown name/face to be fully open about how he/she feels and who he/she is.

Some people 'know' others through their blogs, but never reveal who they are as readers or even that they read them (lurking or delurking is the lingo). So even if they 'know' you, you don't 'know' them. Sometimes I'll be out somewhere and someone I've never seen before will say to me: "Hi Elspeth, I enjoy reading your blog" ... and then we may talk for a while. We may never meet again (as much as we may), but I appreciate this whenever it happens.

I guess people have to be moved to do it - otherwise why do it?

Some time last year a young man came up to me at Movietowne and asked me if I was Elspeth. When I said yes, his face lit up and asked me what had become of the dreams. He told me he had been there the night I launched the Dream House Window Lamp and that it had been such a moving experience. He was one of the many who had placed a dream in the lamp and (not knowing all that I had done with it after) always wondered what had become of it. His excitement (when I told him the full story) made my hair raise. I'm so glad he came up to me and asked and that I was able to give him such good news.

Some people are afraid to come and talk to me. I know this because quite a few over time (even before I started blogging), when they've met me, have said that they always wanted to meet me or talk to me but were afraid to. There is no need to be afraid!

These days it's possible to hear someone say: "Yeah, I know John Smith. I read his blog every day" almost with the confidence of someone who says: "Yes, I know John. We played together as children, used to build club houses in the hedge, grew up in the same neighbourhood, went to school together, I was best man at his wedding, I was there when etc etc etc ..."

What is it to truly know someone?

This brings me to Facebook, myspace and all of these electronic 'social and business networking sites' where one can have hundreds and thousands of 'friends' and be very 'popular'. I don't know anyone 'in real life' who has hundreds and thousands of 'friends' (at least based on what I define a 'friend' to be). I'm not saying you can't make 'real' friends with someone you've encountered online, because I can surely say that I have made/met some ... and I know many others who have.

I think the word 'friend' is often sadly redefined in the cyberworld: someone who may know many things about someone, may 'talk' to him or her online through comments or whatever other technological mechanism, but may not really make the effort or have the desire to reach out and interact beyond that, in the flesh, even if it's possible.

I already know a few Bloggers in TT (... but I knew them before and they just also happen to blog). But have I met any new local ones? I don't think so, come to think of it. Could be that they are anonymous and I have met them but just don't know that I did? E.g. you could meet a Sally Singh (offline) who just doesn't mention that she's Trinicakes (online).

Actually, there is one Blogger I'd never met, whose blog I used to read (when she and her family were living in Trinidad): Karen of Chookooloonks. We met in person for the first time on the night I handed over the Soul Window before they relocated to Texas. It didn't feel like 'the first time'.

I've met a few foreign bloggers - either when I've traveled or when they've been here ... and it has always been a great experience. I haven't known them since childhood or been to school with them every day, but some connections don't need quantity of time in order to determine quality of experience and bond. We are all souls on a journey and it so happens that a modern invention called 'the internet' has enabled us to (re)connect, in ways that we may not have been able to otherwise, with souls who may be with us for the rest of our lives ... just as closely, or sometimes even more so, than those first met in flesh.

I also think of my 'offline' friends - those I feel I will know 'for ever'. I still have many old schoolfriends, but, for various reasons, we don't keep in touch that often. Only one of them has been with me since childhood (primary school) onwards on a daily (literally) basis. Sharms, if you're reading this, that's you. I think (apart from the times either one of us has been abroad studying or jaunting), we've spoken to each other every single day/night over two decades at least! We're always "checking in". My other main friends are people I've met within the past ten years or so - through yoga, (mainly, come to think of it), music, work, the environment or fate - and I feel as if I've known them all my life. They love me and appreciate me (and I them) and would do just about anything for me (and I for them).

But yes, this is an interesting phenomenon about which a lot more can be said ... 'Friends' and 'knowing' and blogging and meeting (or not) - whether here or there.