Going with the flow of life

I'm beginning to feel as busy as the fireflies look in the above image. Time is moving swiftly and life is getting busier. One day soon I will update you as to why.

What does your inbox say about you?

I've been going to sleep later than normal and I've been spending a lot of time in front of the computer. Why?

Rather than pick up the phone and call (i.e. those in the same country), people communicate via email a lot. I check often, to ensure that I don't miss anything important. But then again . . . what IS important as far as emails go? I've already deleted some or categorised them in folders (to lessen the visual overwhelm), but let's take a look and see what's left in my inbox . . . from the first email going down.
1. The Daily Love
2. Email from client for whom I will offer yoga classes
3. Invitation to connect with someone on LinkedIn
4. Email from friend in Toronto ordering photos.
5. Email from another friend in Toronto ordering photos.
6. Message reminding me to connect with someone on LinkedIn
7. Message re a reading session a few of us are doing for primary school children tomorrow
8. Email to myself reminding me to send a message to my yoga students after today's class
9. From someone for whom another artist and I wrote about our video work, for a book she is publishing
10. Yoga music sent by a friend
11. Yoga music sent by a friend
12. Message from editor re a currently-being-produced anthology containing short stories written by me and others I was in a writing workshop with in 2008
13. Message re colouring book being produced
14. Message re reading for the school children
15. Summary of meeting held re reading for the children
16. From Guru Meher re revised schedule for 2nd intensive week of teacher training (next week)
17. From client re graphic job I did recently

. . . and so it goes. 

As I was writing this, a new email from a friend came in above The Daily Love. The subject heading is "With Love".

Nice to have that at the top of the list.

Prayer

May your words have projective power, may your face shine like the moon, may your body radiate like the sun, may your brightness be acknowledged by those whom you touch, feel, speak to and befriend. May you learn all the faculties of God– totality, reality, infinity, kindness and compassion. May your prosperity shine through you to serve those who are in need and may you extend your hand of friendship to those who are lonely. May your essence flow, may you be recognized by your best qualities, wonderful manners and your livelihood. May this day bring you all these blessings plus more, so that you can live healthy, happy and holy. May your nine holes be under your control. And may you give your heart to that one who is like God to you, so you can find your infinity forever. Sat Nam.

(Yogi Bhajan)

One for my Birthday

My birthday gift to myself is "Oneness".

The above photograph is of my feet and my footprints on the beach sand. It symbolizes me standing face to face with the Self and committing to the process of becoming One. The "empty" footprints are not really empty. They are full of every aspect of myself that I am consciously welcoming, embracing, merging with in my True Self.

By extension, the 'empty' footprints also represent standing face to face with and seeing/reflecting the external other (i.e. the various reflections we encounter around us in our daily interactions). The intention is to see, be and reflect our True Selves, from a place of Love = Divinity (non-duality) within and without.

Using this photograph as a template, I invite you to create (as a personal meditation for yourself) a symbolic photograph of your own bare feet and your footprints. If you don't have sand, you can use your empty shoes, chalk marks drawn around your bare feet, impressions on the ground made by your bare wet feet ... or anything else you can think of. In your own time and space, stand face to face with your Self and recognize, welcome, embrace, merge with all that enables you to be the full and true "You".

Sat nam

I will close with the words in the birthday card that Daddy made for me:

You deserve the best birthday on Earth ... not to mention the Moon, the Stars and the Universe.

... and yes, it already is the best.

Elspeth

Salt and blue food colouring

Is it true?

This site (I used to believe: The Childhood Beliefs Site) is interesting. As the name suggests, it's a collection of things people used to believe when they were children.

Some beliefs are introduced to us through others (e.g. wish on a shooting star and your wish will come true) ... and some beliefs we come up with ourselves. Children trust and believe in simple things in a way that (most) adults don't. But just because (most) adults don't, does that mean that what the child believes at the point of believing is not 'true' to him or her? When and why do we stop believing in certain things? And how did we feel in that moment of 'realisation'?

I'm sure I believed all kinds of things when I was small, but off the top of my head I can recall very few now. For the few I remember, I see ways in which they still somehow apply to my view of life today.

1. If we plant coins and water them every day they will grow. Our parents used to tell us 'money doesn't grow on trees'. Not believing them/wanting to prove them wrong, I planted coins in the front garden with my sister Kathryn. We constantly watered our little spot. Weeds eventually grew, leading us to believe that our coins were germinating. Maybe at some point we showed our parents the money trees and they told us they were weeds. I no longer believe that watered coins will grow into money trees, but I believe that we can use certain 'ritualistic' acts to empower and encourage us ... and also that if we attend to our intentions or focus on our dreams, they will manifest in some way ... not always as we envision, but definitely along the lines of this process.

2. We have zips hidden in our hair. We can zip down the centre of the body and step out of our skin. I remember as a very young child standing in the kitchen one day looking for the zip in my hair. I think this came about from my fascination with what makes us work. What makes me move? What operates me? How come my legs move and carry me? I have no plug, no electricity and no buttons to press to make me move and walk and talk. Something must be inside of me making me 'work'. I no longer believe in 'the zip', but I see the 'skin' as a covering for the inner self/Spirit, which is 'working' us in an unseen way.

3. There is a button in the centre of the forehead which you press to make the person go to sleep. I have the clear memory of a day when I was about six. My sister Vanessa had just been born and I think I must have been fascinated by her. She, mummy and I were at home. I remember being in the kitchen with mummy, hearing the baby start to cry and going into my parents' room where she was lying in her crib. I remember standing and looking at her crying, being curious about her, seeing her face getting red ... then taking my finger and pressing it gently into the middle of her forehead like a button. She immediately stopped crying and fell asleep. In my memory it feels like a long time that I had been staring at her crying ... but it must have happened quickly, because I guess if she'd been crying for a long time mummy would have attended to her. I no longer believe that there is an actual button in the forehead, but I know that area now to be 'the third eye' and to this day I still see it as a relaxing point to press on myself or another ... and it works. Also, it's a point to focus on in meditation.

I remember once our parents promised we would go to the beach. That day there was a bad tropical storm. My two sisters and I were highly disappointed. Daddy filled up the bathtub, put some salt and blue food colouring in the water and we happily splashed in 'the sea' as the storm raged outside.

Now as I write this, I'm aware that having grown up with simple moments like that, in addition to having had childhood 'beliefs' (especially as I can still see some kind of sense in those I remember today) must have contributed to me being a natural optimist and one who believes in the simple magic of Life.

Being human, of course there are times when I feel disgruntled, discouraged, sad, scared, insecure, unable, unhappy, apathetic, etc ... but whenever storms rage within and around, there's always salt and blue food colouring.

True Happiness

This is Life's promise to me .. picked out of a jar at a friend's party last night
*

(A friend sent this to me this morning):

The Universe has three answers to your requests...

1. Yes

2. Yes but not yet

3. No because something better is coming along

When the Spirit says ...

Palmistry

Done, Doing, To Do ... and the Unknown

DONE
1. Woke up and did yoga
2. Checked e-mail
3. Went to buy papers and watermelon
4. Ate watermelon
5. Bathed Hindi
6. Frontlined Hindi and Pippa

DOING
1. Blogging
2. Breathing
3. Listening to music on the radio (95.1FM)

TO DO
1. Start working on the physical part of my piece for Mystic Intervention.
2. Sign up for the six-week conversational French course at CLL
3. Wash and clean out car
4. Pay phonebill
5. Go and see a friend's first-performance-in-a-while (piano and poetry) ... at least I think it's tonight. Have to confirm.

THE UNKNOWN
______________ (blank will be filled in)

Migration

Transplanting

This morning I moved some of the watermelon sprouts to another area of the garden where they can spread more freely.

Transplanted

New life

On mornings I usually buy a big slab of watermelon from the fruit stall where I also buy papers. When I return home, I sit on the ground in the driveway eating the watermelon and reading the papers. I absently toss the watermelon seeds under the pine tree to my left.

Yesterday morning as I went to open the gate, I noticed a colony of little seedlings growing under the pine tree. At first I wondered what they were. They looked so healthy, eager and happy, that the first thing that crossed my mind was: "Sunflower seedlings?"

Then I realised they were the sprouts from my watermelon seeds. I was amazed. To think that something so casually tossed on bare earth (and forgotten) had sprouted with such life and determination.

After freedom, what follows?

Dried Petria flower in spider's web in garden

*

Truth comes.
She cuts the cord in the web of illusion.

After freedom, what follows?
The flower meets the sky again on a windy day.

Signs

A friend sent me this today. I loved it. It's definitely worth watching and will take only 12:12 minutes of your time.

The stages

'Knowing' 'Friends' in 'real' life

The Trini Blogger, Girlblue (who I've met in person a few times) wrote a post today that is so true. She mentions how she met up with a visiting Blogger and took him and his son up to Maracas for Bake & Shark ... then muses "Its funny though and made me think, we would go out of our way to visit with foreign blog type people but would rarely make the effort of meeting the local ones we read all the time, funny that. Ah well ..."

Hmmmmmmm. I guess a (prophet) Blogger isn't recognized in his/her own town.

Some TT bloggers are anonymous, so unless they reveal themselves to you, you may never know who they are. Maybe it's easier to take for granted that "so and so is from TT" and the place is so small that you're sure to bounce them up one day on the street or in the grocery (somewhere "mundane") ... or you've already seen them around, so it's nothing new and exciting to see or meet them 'in real life' ... (?)

Or maybe, for some, meeting 'in real life' takes away the mystery and allure ... either for the reader ... or for the Blogger him/her self, who finds it easier as an unknown name/face to be fully open about how he/she feels and who he/she is.

Some people 'know' others through their blogs, but never reveal who they are as readers or even that they read them (lurking or delurking is the lingo). So even if they 'know' you, you don't 'know' them. Sometimes I'll be out somewhere and someone I've never seen before will say to me: "Hi Elspeth, I enjoy reading your blog" ... and then we may talk for a while. We may never meet again (as much as we may), but I appreciate this whenever it happens.

I guess people have to be moved to do it - otherwise why do it?

Some time last year a young man came up to me at Movietowne and asked me if I was Elspeth. When I said yes, his face lit up and asked me what had become of the dreams. He told me he had been there the night I launched the Dream House Window Lamp and that it had been such a moving experience. He was one of the many who had placed a dream in the lamp and (not knowing all that I had done with it after) always wondered what had become of it. His excitement (when I told him the full story) made my hair raise. I'm so glad he came up to me and asked and that I was able to give him such good news.

Some people are afraid to come and talk to me. I know this because quite a few over time (even before I started blogging), when they've met me, have said that they always wanted to meet me or talk to me but were afraid to. There is no need to be afraid!

These days it's possible to hear someone say: "Yeah, I know John Smith. I read his blog every day" almost with the confidence of someone who says: "Yes, I know John. We played together as children, used to build club houses in the hedge, grew up in the same neighbourhood, went to school together, I was best man at his wedding, I was there when etc etc etc ..."

What is it to truly know someone?

This brings me to Facebook, myspace and all of these electronic 'social and business networking sites' where one can have hundreds and thousands of 'friends' and be very 'popular'. I don't know anyone 'in real life' who has hundreds and thousands of 'friends' (at least based on what I define a 'friend' to be). I'm not saying you can't make 'real' friends with someone you've encountered online, because I can surely say that I have made/met some ... and I know many others who have.

I think the word 'friend' is often sadly redefined in the cyberworld: someone who may know many things about someone, may 'talk' to him or her online through comments or whatever other technological mechanism, but may not really make the effort or have the desire to reach out and interact beyond that, in the flesh, even if it's possible.

I already know a few Bloggers in TT (... but I knew them before and they just also happen to blog). But have I met any new local ones? I don't think so, come to think of it. Could be that they are anonymous and I have met them but just don't know that I did? E.g. you could meet a Sally Singh (offline) who just doesn't mention that she's Trinicakes (online).

Actually, there is one Blogger I'd never met, whose blog I used to read (when she and her family were living in Trinidad): Karen of Chookooloonks. We met in person for the first time on the night I handed over the Soul Window before they relocated to Texas. It didn't feel like 'the first time'.

I've met a few foreign bloggers - either when I've traveled or when they've been here ... and it has always been a great experience. I haven't known them since childhood or been to school with them every day, but some connections don't need quantity of time in order to determine quality of experience and bond. We are all souls on a journey and it so happens that a modern invention called 'the internet' has enabled us to (re)connect, in ways that we may not have been able to otherwise, with souls who may be with us for the rest of our lives ... just as closely, or sometimes even more so, than those first met in flesh.

I also think of my 'offline' friends - those I feel I will know 'for ever'. I still have many old schoolfriends, but, for various reasons, we don't keep in touch that often. Only one of them has been with me since childhood (primary school) onwards on a daily (literally) basis. Sharms, if you're reading this, that's you. I think (apart from the times either one of us has been abroad studying or jaunting), we've spoken to each other every single day/night over two decades at least! We're always "checking in". My other main friends are people I've met within the past ten years or so - through yoga, (mainly, come to think of it), music, work, the environment or fate - and I feel as if I've known them all my life. They love me and appreciate me (and I them) and would do just about anything for me (and I for them).

But yes, this is an interesting phenomenon about which a lot more can be said ... 'Friends' and 'knowing' and blogging and meeting (or not) - whether here or there.

Everything is

My final post for 2008

The Sky Rides ticket

*

In December last year, gripped by the need to cross water, I took a spontaneous trip to St. Lucia to visit my friend Mel and renew myself. It was well worth it. We had a great time.

We decided that on the 1st day of 2008 we would do something to confront a fear, symbolising our fearless approach to whatever the year would bring. As we both have (had ...?) a fear of heights, we decided to embrace that in a big way.

So the year, 2008 started off with us bright and early on the morning of January 1st, symbolically plunging from a height thousands of feet above sea level into the depths of the forest. This exhilarating experience, for me, was the inspiration for the eleven platforms of my life (in which I asked the Universe to surprise me):

1. Self
2. Spirit/Spirituality
3. Love Life
4. Relationships (friends/family)
5. Career
6. Creativity
7. Geographical Location (travel/abode)
8. Recreation/Social Life
9. Learning
10. Finances
11. Health/Exercise

Each of those areas was indeed addressed by the Universe in some form or fashion. As a result, 2008 has been a full, intense and life changing year in many amazing ways - new experiences, new relationships, new ways of eating, feeling and being, new interests, new directions ... and much more. Seeds, planted in the Garden of Life ... to grow and bloom in time.

I am very thankful for this year and its gifts. Looking back, I'm amazed at how much it has all been!

I am also very thankful for all of you who read my blog regularly, take interest, give encouragement and support in whatever way(s) you do, share your comments and feedback and offer friendship ... both online or offline.

Another spontaneous December moment is here. As much as I enjoy blogging, this will be my last blog post and my last blogging day for 2008. It's like yoga. The whole year has been one long kriya and now it's time for the rest period. I intend to assimilate the energies of this (kriya) year and spend pleasure time nurturing and tending to the seeds, seedlings and flowers in my Life Garden.

My sincere wish for each one of you is the manifestation of whatever is for your highest good and the highest good of those around you.

Enjoy!

See you again in 2009.

Love,

Elspeth

Message

Yesterday at the labyrinth
*
Let it go.

Let it come.

Letting go
Is the same as receiving.

Sentimentality and labels aside ...

(Writing on the box is backwards because I took the photo using iPHoto, which reverses letters)
*

Last Monday I woke up and started cleaning and clearing my space and everything in it ... minimizing my possessions as much as possible by throwing them away or packing them up to be given away. Clothing, shoes, objects/nick-nacks, papers, books, etc. It will take a while for me to really get down to the bare minimum, because the more I discard, the more I see to be discarded. In this current cleaning/clearing mode there is little or no time for sentimentality.

Do I use this?
Do I need this?
Do I want this?
Who do I know who will use/need/want this?
Why am I keeping this?
Why is this important to my life now?
What are the things I would keep if I had only one suitcase to put them in?

It's interesting, delving into bags and boxes I had quite forgotten about, unearthing all kinds of memories. Inside is outside. Outside is inside. This feeling for space and a blank slate in my external environment is reflecting how I currently feel about my inner environment.

I was invited to give a talk yesterday to a group of women (which was really enjoyable) - on my work, the creative process, etc. When it was time to begin/introduce myself, I started off by saying that I am a multimedia artist ... Then I stopped, realising that that label, while it may be true (in terms of what I 'do') no longer really feels 100% me. There is more of 'me' which that label doesn't embrace.

'Multimedia artist' is a label I actually didn't choose for myself. It was what someone called me in a newspaper article she wrote about my first solo exhibition in 2001. At the time, not knowing what to call myself because there were so many things to describe, I thought 'multimedia artist' worked because it encapsulated everything. Then everyone started referring to me automatically as "Elspeth Duncan, Multimedia Artist".

Now I feel a bit like someone who got named at birth by their parents, grew up, felt the name didn't resonate and changed it to something they felt more aligned with. I'm not quite sure what my new 'label' is going to be and when I will begin to use it. Will I come up with it or will someone just call me 'that' one day and it will 'fit'?

Anyway ... I began by telling the women that I feel I am going through a major transition and I am not sure what it means or where it will lead me. I explained the cleaning out of my room and the symbolism of it in terms of new energy and life. I expressed that things of the past, including my former work, feel old. Not irrelevant, because they still have their value, but ... it's as though something very new wants to push up and come out ... and that anything that went before is either stepping aside or has to be let go of, to give the newness space to emerge.

Sea Key

When I was at Grand Riviere last week there was a lot of heavy, stormy rain. One day the river swelled up, broke the sandy shoreline at its mouth and went pouring into the sea in a mass of churning, muddy chocolate water, with large branches and other materials swept along its path. The entire landscape was entirely changed within minutes as the river lived up to its name (Grand Riviere means Big River).

Afterwards I went walking near the river mouth and saw this key lying in the sand.

Immediately I wondered: Whose keys are these? What do they open?

The key didn't look as if it had been swept there by the waters. It seemed to have been placed so gently and specifically (quite like this) for someone to find.

I wondered: What would I want it to open up for me?

Then just now as I wrote the title of this post, it immediately sounded to me like 'seek ye' ... which in turn reminded me of Ask, and it shall be given you; Seek, and ye shall find; Knock, and it shall be opened unto you.