Affirming

Fabric book of affirmations made by Lynn

Second blog post for the day (first one here). 

I just went to put something in a drawer and spotted the fabric book made by Lynn of Getting My Feet Wet.  The book is made up of quilted pockets, each one filled with affirmations written by Lynn.  (You can custom order a fabric book by contacting her through her blog). Having not selected an affirmation in ages, I decided to pull and got these three:

I am a success.

I know my true love is coming to me now.

I take time for myself.

Timely messages, welcomed with open arms.

Dream woman gives me direct messages

Something just sparked the memory of a very clear part of my dream last night. I feel I remembered because I'm meant to do what was told to me.

I was at a gathering at someone's home. An attractive older woman, perhaps in her early 50's, left what she was doing and came across the room to me. She was wearing a khaki all-in-one "dress" that looked like some kind of protective services uniform. I got the feeling that she had just come from 'work'. She looked familiar and I can still remember her face, but I don't know her.

She never introduced herself—just looked me directly in the eyes and started to speak. The first thing I remember her telling me was: "Have two exhibitions by the end of the year."

"How about one?"I asked her.

"Two," she said. Her expression never changed. She had a constant slight smile. She came across as kind but firm.

Then she said: "Never travel as if you are alone."

"But what if I am?" I asked her.

"You are not."

The dream itself was surreal and dreamlike, but the part with the woman felt real, which is why it stood out. Did she mean to have two exhibitions by the end of the year 2010?

It is possible. "Exhibition" doesn't necessarily mean a big solo exhibition like I've done in the past—one which takes a while to produce. It could be something on a smaller scale.

I am 'exhibiting' new (and old) work all the time in various ways—mainly, as of late, through film screenings at festivals or at smaller events like this collaborative one at which my video for You Are Calling will be screened. But the two exhibitions she wants me to produce could be anything.

The thing is ... do I want to add anything more to my plate? Do I have the energy to focus on new projects now? Today, of all days, when I woke up and decided to focus on fewer things.

But the dream woman's directive was specific. It feels like it's beyond my logic and comprehension. Not something that I am to figure out—simply allow it to happen. Two exhibitions by the end of the year. I feel that by even writing about this on the blog, I am publicly announcing my agreement.

YES. I trust you. I accept the challenge. I accept my role as the clear channel for whatever and why ever these two exhibitions are meant to be.

STAY TUNED

A Divine 143=I Love You Day

Today was not a bad day, but there were points along the way where I felt temporarily overwhelmed. As I was driving home from town, with the radio on, I decided to get guidance by playing a game I usually play when I'm on a long drive (either alone or with others). It's called "The Song Game". Kind of like reading cards or consulting an oracle. Without knowing what is coming, choose an upcoming song for yourself (if alone) or for another (if driving with someone). Say up front what message the song will have for the person to whom it is dedicated.

E.g.
Something in the next song will answer a question you've had about your career.
OR
Two songs ahead of this one you'll find a clue to where you must travel next for your greatest benefit.

It usually works.

So, as I was driving, I said aloud: "The next song is my Guardian Angel speaking to me."

The song that came was one I had never heard before, but it fitted perfectly—the lyrics were really like me and my Guardian Angel communicating. Look and listen and you will see what I mean. The video is one of those that is disabled by request, but you can click here to hear/see it. I love it. And the lyrics are here: I want to talk to you ... Let's talk.

By the time the song had finished, I really felt that Divine communication was in operation. Further confirmation came when, on the way home, I saw various examples of what I call my 'code' for "I Love You": the number 143.
1 = I
4 = Love
3 = You

I kept seeing cars with that number on their number plates ( I took photos of them while driving). Messages confirming Love from Above.

This first one, 1437 ... whenever I see that on a car numberplate (as I have before), I automatically see it as "I Love You Elspeth" (because Elspeth has 7 letters in it).

"------, I Love You"

"-----, I Love You"

Nothing is a coincidence

(Canada Chronicles continued ...)
One day last week when I was in Montreal I was walking with my cousin. We passed a shop displaying some brightly coloured images on fridge magnets and coasters for $1 each. I was drawn to a bright image of Cupid. My cousin was drawn to the image featured above. We made our purchases. As soon as she paid for the angel, she turned and gave it to me.

Maybe because I was in a French speaking place, the name Celestine popped into my head as I looked at the image of the angel. I then remembered the 'Celestine Prophecy' and the fact that there is no such thing as 'a coincidence'. Before we continued along our way, I said to Celestine (in French): "Show us signs along our path that lead us to the answers we need right now to advance our lives in accordance with our happiness."

Along the way, we passed many signs that had the word "Angel" in them ... whether on advertising, the names of buildings or even embedded within names of streets (e.g. Blvd Langelier). 'Coincidence'? Were we looking for it? Or was there really some kind of angelic presence?

We were on our way to look for a labyrinth in a park about 2 hours away on foot. As we walked, we were talking of a few things ... one of which was 'fear'. I was telling her that everyone feels fear at some point and that we need to push past it to get to the next level and where we want to be. At that moment I had looked at Celestine again and the cross she was carrying reminded me of an image I had seen once of my hero since childhood - Joan of Arc. How relevant. I started to tell my cousin about Joan and two of her quotes which I love:

(i) I am not afraid, I was born to do this
(ii) Act and God will act

Just a few seconds later, I looked up as we were about to cross a street... and right before us was a street sign: Blvd Jeanne d'Arc! (Joan of Arc Boulevard)

We were blown away. Coincidence or confirmation? Long story, but in that moment I confirmed the decision to extend my stay here an extra month.
Yesterday I was walking through town with a friend and saw this stick (above image) on the ground. It's the second one I've found since being here. It's in the shape of a divining rod. I see these "Y" shaped sticks as a sign that I'm being assisted in finding something important to me.

As my friend and I walked, I was telling her (relevant to our conversation) about a time I was in a meeting (in TT) and one of my peers had run out of the room, traumatised by a phonecall that a very dear friend of hers had been killed that morning in a car accident. After a while of several of us comforting her, I offered to take her home and stay with her until her sister came to keep her company. On the drive to her apartment, I didn't know what to say. What do you say to someone who has emitted such gutteral cries of grief and is still reeling in shock? The only thing that came to me was to ask her what were the things that she loved most about him ... what were some of her favourite memories of their times together ... what kind of person was he?

This kept her talking about things that she found pleasant, even though sad (given the circumstances). At one point, just before reaching her apartment, I saw a car heading toward us. It had her deceased friend's name (NICHOLAS) emblazoned across its windscreen in red with a huge red heart next to it.

"Look! He's hearing you talk about him and he's sending to say he loves you!" I exclaimed.

Coincidence? Confirmation? Consolation?

So ... I was telling my friend this story as we walked yesterday in Toronto with my divining rod ... and lo and behold, just as I finished telling it to her, we stopped to cross a street, I looked up ... and we both gasped as my finger pointed to the name of the street:

St. Nicholas St.

Coincidence? It gave us the confirmation that we are on the right path and are being guided.

Sunflower Power to the Rescue

Samantha Rochard's piece for Mystic Intervention was The Moon Tree ... a tree containing little gifts bags of seeds and a small candle. Each kind of seed had its own meaning (e.g. I got Sunflower seeds, representing 'recognition of achievements'). The idea was for the 'giftee' to devise and perform a personal ritual while planting his or her seeds ... and to subsequently nurture them, thereby nurturing the promise inherent in the seeds.

Yesterday, from the moment I woke up, I was focused and absorbed, busy cleaning and clearing, throwing away, playing some good music in the background as I did so. I was feeling purposeful, happy about lightening up the energy, about the feeling of clearing space and getting rid of 'old', excited about new things to come and that "Life is good ..."

Then at one point, around 3 p.m., I stopped, sat down ... and suddenly started to feel very low in energy. Everything within me dropped and I just sat there. My sense of focus and purpose quickly turned to disillusionment, apathy and doubt as I slipped into the 'What am I doing with my life? Does any of what I do make sense? Why do I do it?" mode that I sometimes slip into after I've poured a significant amount of energy into a project that leaves me empty after, with nothing visible or tangible to show for it ... but yet with a great intangible, energetic feeling. In other words, the kinds of projects that I really love doing and would happily absorb myself in, that come from the heart and spirit, that really touch and move people and myself in the process ... but which don't (yet) seem to translate into the 'real world' of buying material necessities and paying bills ...

After a few minutes of pensive moping, I suddenly remembered the little yellow bag with the candle and Sunflower seeds ...
I immediately got up, went outside with it, found an empty pot, filled it with rich soil (the same soil I used for Melanie the Miracle Melon) and planted the three seeds.

The three seeds ... and one little piece of something that looks like it belonged with them.

Making a hole for the last seed

I placed the pot in the little garden outside of my bedroom window, close to Melanie.
Then went indoors and placed the candle from the little gift bag in this small candle holder on the bookshelf in my new clean, light space.

Doing this activity, I felt my energy shift. Even though so small an act, I felt that something big had happened. At the very least, it distracted me from my own mind. Now as I sit here writing this, I know that the doubt, disillusionment and apathy I was feeling in that moment yesterday were caused by me projecting ahead of 'the now' (Desirée, if you're reading this, I dropped that link in for you) and worrying about what I really don't need to worry about.

In the moment of worrying about bills or buying things do I actually have to pay a bill or buy anything?

No.

So why worry about it?

Return of Synchronicity

Source of image: Archangel Gabriel who accompanied Synchronicity on the long journey

*

At last ... I got my camera back today.

Perfect timing.

Came in via UPS (which I will use from now on if/when I need to send anything).

Only $67.17TT (approx 10US) in courier fees to bring it in to TT.

I thought this would all have cost me an exhorbitant amount of money ... but in all I only ended up paying a total of approximately $300TT (approx $50US) to send to Texas and return.

Thanks to SONY Repair Centre for honouring the warranty - repairs/replaced part and shipping to US Skybox totally free. I'm really pleased with their swift and professional service.

And thanks to Gabriel too.

Welcome home, my friend

(From l. to r): Keshia A., Dara N. and Elspeth D. at our "2013 reunion" last year.
*

Last night I went to meet my friend Keshia A at the airport. She flew in from Miami, as she does at least once or twice a year. She's already been here once for the year already. This time she'll be spending seven days.

We met when she had come here years ago as a Fulbright scholar to do research. She was living just across from the corner of my street. Once introduced, we quickly became main sidekicks and, to this day, she is one of my dearest friends, a sister and kindred spirit. There are just some people in life who instinctively and unquestioningly know, love, understand and support you fully for who you are - and she is definitely one of them.

She returns so often to TT because she fell in love with it while she was here. It resonates with her spirit and feels like 'home' in a way that her birthplace and the place where she lives and works (the US) does not.

Whenever she comes, it is inevitably a mutually fun and healing experience, full of magic, growth, excitement, great conversations, laughter, inspiration, realisation, adventures and more.

Let the good times roll ...

Off to Texas, protected by Angel Gabriel

My camera - body only
*

Today I sent my camera off to the service centre in Texas, using DHL. As I was filling out the relevant forms in the DHL office, two men in the lobby were on about DHL's service. They were dissatisfied.

"DHL has become Trinidadianised!" one man, clearly upset, was saying. "They not doing things properly like they used to!"

I finished filling my forms and was ready for my baby to be packaged carefully. The DHL man gave me one of those regular envelopes with one layer of bubble wrap to put the camera in for shipping. I looked at him like he couldn't be serious.

"What? This has to be wrapped in at least 2 - 3 inches of protective material and then put in a sturdy box!" I said, quoting the exact recommendation on the Sony repair form.

"It will be okay. It will be in this envelope and then in a box." He showed me a flimsy box. I didn't know if to feel angry, upset or if to burst into tears. Is this the way a courier service handles a fragile and valuable item? I felt like I was watching myself or a loved one going in for an operation, into the hands of a doctor who had never studied medicine.

"You don't have proper packaging?!" I asked in alarm. I had thought that they would package items in a professional way. At least that's what a friend (who had once shipped his camera out for repairs) had told me would happen.

"No,well, you have to provide packaging for it if you want more protection," the DHL man said.

"Well where can I get bubble wrap around here?" I was starting to get frustrated ... the opposite reaction to the thorough service I had received over the phone yesterday from Sony USA.

"I don't know where you can get packaging," he said.

The man who was saying DHL is now Trinidadianised started going on about the envelope the man wanted to put my camera in. "You mean that is what they will put an expensive piece of equipment in?! You ever see how those men fling boxes?! Whatever you do, you make sure you see how they package your thing! And make sure they write FRAGILE on the package! If that breaks, they're not liable!"

What a feeling ... sending my camera off into the wilderness with people who didn't seem to care.

The guard whispered to the DHL man that I could get packaging at a place around the corner ... so I went. When I got there (a dark warehouse filled with large wooden crates and cardboard boxes), a polite gentleman came out to deal with me. "All the packaging men are out," he said. "But I'll see ... maybe I can find one."

He came back shortly with a slim, older Oriental man who, upon seeing the camera and hearing I was sending it via DHL, immediately started giving me a whole set of advice. "Make sure this ... make sure that ... Make sure they do a,b,c,d,e, etc etc etc." He then got bubble wrap and wrapped the camera body so carefully and securely that I felt my concerns fall away. He then put it into the box the DHL man had given me and taped the bottom and sides securely, leaving the top open for DHL to inspect, etc.

"Make sure you see them tape it up properly," he said. "And make sure you sign up your customs form stating REPAIRS so you don't have to pay when the camera comes back. Otherwise they will kill you with that price, like bringing in a new camera!"

I left, feeling a lot more secure about the safety of my camera on its journey.

"What's your name?" I asked the slim Oriental man as I was leaving.

"Gabriel," he responded.

My previously concerned face broke into a smile. It felt like Angel Gabriel had been sent to protect my camera on its journey (literally ... with both bubble wrap and angelic vibes).

**

WOW ... I just looked up Angel Gabriel ... and check this out ... S/he is patron saint of (among other things) postal workers!! (DHL can fall into that category) ...

Some people believe that Gabriel is a female spirit; others hold that angels have no gender.

Because of Gabriel's role as a communicator and mediator between Heaven and Earth, Catholics hold the Archangel to be a Patron Saint of broadcasters, telecommunications workers, diplomats, messengers, postal workers, and stamp collectors. Because Gabriel helped the prophet Daniel interpret his dreams, those seeking similar aid with their own dream work may petition the Archangel for help ...

Interesting indeed! And ... this is this and this are the other things that popped into my mind when Gabriel said his name. An interesting coincidence that would take a whole other post to explain ...

Inspired by Haunting Israeli Woman ... Haunted by Inspiring Israeli woman

Kol Ha Neshama (Maor Zohar 2007 Mix) - Ofra Haza

Press play and listen to the above song (a remix) as you read the post below. It's my latest 'song-I-can't-stop-listening-to'. I wonder what she is saying ...

Years ago I was over at the house of a friend who had great taste in music and therefore a great CD collection. On this particular day he put on one of his CDs at full volume and one of the most haunting female voices I'd ever heard slowly flooded the house and my senses. My hair raised and I said "Wow! Who is that?!" It was Ofra Haza, the popular Israeli singer (1957 - 2000).

Just now, while writing this post ... out of curiosity, I went to Google to find out how Ofra had died so young. I was surprised to see ... died of internal organ failure related to AIDS, February 23. But why was I surprised? 'Surprised' isn't really the word I'm looking for. I jumped when I read the cause of her death ... and since then some dots are starting to connect ...

It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling right now, listening to her voice ... along with this new realisation of her cause of death (which it seems, from various sources, was shrouded in mystery and conspiracy). I started writing this post with the sole reason of sharing her song with you ... but now, hearing how she died is inspiring me in an unexpected way ... for the (work) project I am about to embark upon/started conceptualising yesterday (the second of two videos I've been contracted to do on women, children and HIV/AIDS) with my P.A. for the project - Patti-Ann Ali (whose initials ironically are P.A.)

Timing is perfect for Ofra to step in.

Some may wonder what the connection is between a deceased Israeli singer and a Trinbagonian film on women, children and HIV/AIDS. It is the connection of SPIRIT and ENERGY that truly inspires. It is inexplicable and can come from anywhere ... the most remote thing, place or person. We need to be open to it when it presents itself and not close off the possibilities it offers. Listen to Ofra's voice. Even though I don't understand what she's saying, the deeper meaning inherent in her tone reaches me clearly. On a feeling level we understand what the intellect can't begin to comprehend. She is projecting something Universally powerful and directive.

I can't explain more than that, but maybe you understand where I'm coming from.

******

Wow! Just looked up the translation of the title of her song ... Kol Ha Neshama (see below). The song on its own is powerful, but the beat and energy in the remix gives it a different intensity which I also find infectious ...

The phrase "Kol HaNeshama" comes from the last verse of Psalm 150, the Psalm that many of us know simply as "Hallelu", perhaps the most joyous of all the Psalms. We chose it for the name of our synagogue both because of the text itself and the way it opens itself to English translations and interpertations.

The Hebrew spelling of "Kol" is K-L, Kaf-Lamed, meaning "all".

The root of Neshama, N-SH-M, Nun-Shin-Mem, means "breath" or "breathing", thus a "living thing".

The simple meaning is: "Every living thing" (will praise God). Some have expanded this to "The breath of every living thing praises God."

The translation in our prayer book, which just happens to be named Kol HaNeshama, is "Let every living thing Yah's praises sing".

Another translation would be "all that breathes" or "all of humanity", signaling a universality in Judaism that includes all of humankind as one entity.

Two rainbows, two dolphins and a pair of angel wings

Pulling into the jetty on the way back from 'down the islands', just before sunset ...
these clouds reminded me of a huge pair of angel's wings.

*

My entire body feels the pain today (good pain) after a full day-into-afternoon on Chacachacare Island shooting with my friend Miss T from TO. We arrived by boat then, together with two of the subjects of her documentary, made the 30 - 45 minute hike up a steep, winding road, to the light house. From up there, the view of the islands is breathtaking. And Venezuela is so close, you feel you could skip a pebble and it would reach.

On the journey back, I observed the following beautiful pairs of symbols. Things I see often jump out at me as being more than just 'things I see'. I'm sure it happens to you too. That's when 'things we see' are divine symbols and messages, telling us something important, giving us clues to life's grand treasures.

(1) Two rainbows - one, when we were walking down the hill from the light house, looked so close that it seemed to end (or begin) in the bush a few steps away from us at the roadside. The other was in clouds over the mainland on the boat ride back. Rainbows symbolise many things - from being a symbol of 'gay pride' to signifying hope, the promise of a new day, arc of God, bridge between heaven and earth ... etc. In addition to those things, for me it is one of my favourite natural phenomena (if not my favourite). Seeing one, no matter how small or faint, always makes me say "Wow!" and uplifts me. It's a great sign.

(2) Two dolphins - A power animal moment and another thing that makes me say "Wow!" I saw them rising together out of the water in the distance. Dolphins play in that peninsula. When I used to go fishing years ago with my friends Joseph, Curtis and Wayne, the dolphins would sometimes frolic alongside the boat, more so when we banged on the side of the boat to call them. According to this source, dolphins represent: joy, spiritual depth, play.

Extract:
The dolphin is a symbol of joy, of being able to ‘go with the flow’ of life, free from worry. It is significant that they are mammals that live in water because water and the oceans are symbolic of our deeper emotions and the cosmic ocean of life. Dolphins play, leap, twist and turn in these waters, and so as a symbol they represent the ability for us to release limitations, and then accept and enjoy our deeper spiritual nature. Dolphins do not dwell on the meaning of life, they simply live life to the full as a part of the cosmic dance. You should wear the symbol of dolphin as a way of showing your intention to become more at one with the breath of life (that is the spiritual nature of life) and to promote a connection with laughter, joyful release and the ability to give of yourself freely to others.

Seeing a pair of dolphins also always makes me think of a happy, simple, soul-connected, unconditional life-love partnership.

(3) A pair of Angel Wings - The image of huge, luminous angel wings in the sky spreading over everything at the end of the day (see above photo) speaks for itself. Huge cosmic blessings.

Angels are everywhere

Once I went into a shop with a friend and saw little bags of gold coloured angels for sale. I think the bag was labelled 'Angel Confetti' and I thought "Wow!" (thinking of how useful they would be). The angels are a neat little size, perhaps just under an inch in height and their gold colour makes them stand out.

I keep them in my bag and every now and then I pull one out and leave it somewhere. E.g. If I am in an eating place, when I get up to leave I will place an angel on the table where I was so that the next person will find it. If I am at a counter buying something I surreptitiously leave an angel for the next customer. Sometimes I place one in the envelope when I am paying a bill using FasDeposit so the person in the bank will find it when they process my cheque.

Sometimes I will hand one to someone directly, without saying or explaining anything. E.g. I was in the paint shop once and, after paying for the paint I dipped into my bag pulled out an angel and handed it to the girl. She looked at it for a while, probably trying to figure out what it was, then she smiled, nodded, looked at me and we both laughed. That was it, no words were necessary.

Once standing in the line at the bank, I was getting something out of my bag and a host of the confetti angels fell to the floor. I decided to leave them there, feeling that someone who needed to see them would come upon them. Later, as I was further up in the line, I looked back and saw some women looking at them. They seemed curious, yet reluctant to bend and look closer or pick them up. Maybe all day people saw them and left them there. Perhaps because they were ultimately meant for the cleaner who would be there mopping and cleaning the bank after working hours. Maybe she picked them up and took them home for her family.

As I went for my walk this morning I wished for today to be that kind of day: a day when I myself go somewhere and find something unexpected that lifts me as I imagine finding those angels would. Serendipity. Lately there seems to be so much ugliness around.