Welcome to Trinidad and Tobago, President Obama

Source of photo

President Obama flies into Trinidad today for the Fifth Summit of the Americas
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The Fifth Summit of the Americas is upon us ... focusing on the theme: "Securing Our Citizens' Future by Promoting Human Prosperity, Energy Security and Environmental Sustainability."

How ironic.

T&T GOVERNMENT: Citizens? What citizens? All we care about is hurriedly spending at least $500 million dollars to fix up the country so that it looks good for Obama ... and the rest of the world.

Quick! He's flying in today! Forget about the global financial crisis. Let's dish out about $1 million US to rehabilitate the airport so we can accommodate the US Presidential aircrafts and the other jets that are bringing in our important guests!

Paint all the lines, roadsigns, lightpoles, tree trunks ... in fact, paint every and anything on the road along the route from the airport to Port-of-Spain! We can't afford to let Obama see any of our infrastructure looking old and ratty! And never mind if the citizens are stuck for hours in traffic while we spruce up. They're used to it.

(... i.e. the traffic, not the sprucing up).

Pave the roads and fix any potholes in areas where Obama and other foreign Heads of State have to pass! Build a wall (... and call it a 'berm') to hide the 'slums' in the Beetham so our important guests won't see the poverty!

And on that note, drive around and pick up all the vagrants so it will look like we don't have a problem with homelessness and madness. Some of these social outcasts are running away, but hopefully not in the direction of the Summit centre!

Get rid of all the dogs on the street too ... whether they belong to people or not! Well ... maybe leave one or two in honour of Obama's canine 'mutterings'.

Pick up all the garbage on the roads and remove whatever's been clogging the drains for so long! Can't risk having Obama stuck in raging flood waters if it starts to rain.

Transplant some trees in strategic locations to make it look like we're environmentally conscious. But first let's massacre all vegetation that poses a security threat to the President of the US and valued delegates!

Quick! Dip into our limitless coffers! We said we would spend only $500 million, but let's take it to $1 billion! At any cost, we must put plasters over our festering sores! And we'll spend more if we have to. Got to make sure we look good.

He'll be here soon!