Friday, April 17, 2009

Welcome to Trinidad and Tobago, President Obama

President Obama flies into Trinidad today for the Fifth Summit of the Americas
The Fifth Summit of the Americas is upon us ... focusing on the theme: "Securing Our Citizens' Future by Promoting Human Prosperity, Energy Security and Environmental Sustainability."

How ironic.

T&T GOVERNMENT: Citizens? What citizens? All we care about is hurriedly spending at least $500 million dollars to fix up the country so that it looks good for Obama ... and the rest of the world.

Quick! He's flying in today! Forget about the global financial crisis. Let's dish out about $1 million US to rehabilitate the airport so we can accommodate the US Presidential aircrafts and the other jets that are bringing in our important guests!

Paint all the lines, roadsigns, lightpoles, tree trunks ... in fact, paint every and anything on the road along the route from the airport to Port-of-Spain! We can't afford to let Obama see any of our infrastructure looking old and ratty! And never mind if the citizens are stuck for hours in traffic while we spruce up. They're used to it.

... i.e. the traffic, not the sprucing up).

Pave the roads and fix any potholes in areas where Obama and other foreign Heads of State have to pass! Build a wall (... and call it a 'berm') to hide the 'slums' in the Beetham so our important guests won't see the poverty!

And on that note,
drive around and pick up all the vagrants so it will look like we don't have a problem with homelessness and madness. Some of these social outcasts are running away, but hopefully not in the direction of the Summit centre!

Get rid of all the dogs on the street too ... whether they belong to people or not! Well ... maybe leave one or two in honour of Obama's canine 'mutterings'.

Pick up all the garbage on the roads and remove whatever's been clogging the drains for so long! Can't risk having Obama stuck in raging flood waters if it starts to rain.

Transplant some trees in strategic locations to make it look like we're environmentally conscious. But first let's massacre all vegetation that poses a security threat to the President of the US and valued delegates!

Quick! Dip into our limitless coffers! We said we would spend only $500 million, but let's take it to $1 billion! At any cost, we must put plasters over our festering sores! And we'll spend more if we have to. Got to make sure we look good.

He'll be here soon!


ban-d-wagonist said...

excellent synopsis

human being said...

your holy wrath touched me deep...

"putting plasters over festering sores..."
yes this is what they usually do... and who caused the wounds?

Anonymous said...

Hooray!! I was thinking, even as our people are undemocratically denied the opportunity to protest,who can deny a cyber-protest!!!

Anonymous said...

and on top of all that the government have made us suffer over the past month, they still deprive us the opportunity to see the man the spend all that money on....shame on you Patrick manning or is it Patrice manning....

Wuzdescene said...

so funny ... so true ... so sad ...

Anonymous said...

Great job. This is probably the best summary of this nonsense I've seen so far. Glad to see you can make fun of it though, maybe if the Summit was held every year, Trinidad could truly be a first-world country by...2011 maybe!

Lynn Cohen said...

I feel like I should send this post to Obama so he gets the real picture! Such a waste, or better they use the money to repair ALL the pot holes and HELP all the vagrants and dogs...but I guess that would cost too much...mustn't go into needless debt is it?

Chookooloonks said...

*shakes head*

Anonymous said...

HOLY. I had no idea. That makes me feel sick in my stomach.


Hide the slums! ha ha if president don't know the scenario..

I like the sarcastic tone in your writing..

Unknown said...

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نقل عفش جدة

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عزل بالرياض

Unknown said...

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عملية تصغير المعدة

عملية تكميم المعدة

عمليات تدبيس المعدة

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تنظيف مسابح بجدة

Unknown said...

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شركة كشف تسربات المياة بجدة

بيع اثاث مستعمل بالرياض

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افضل شركات بالسعودية
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افضل شركات بالسعودية