Thursday, March 26, 2009

Are You Me? (My last post until ...)

These days I am tired. Not physically tired, but deeply and internally tired. It feels like a tiredness that has built up over some time and has caught up with me. I need a special recharge and refueling. My deep well of energy wants replenishing. I don't know from what, where or whom this will come ... but I want and need it to come.

I was awakened this morning by the feeling of intense warmth swirling around my left hand. I thought it was heat emanating from Jasper's body, but then I realised he was lying at my feet. I lay there in the dark for a while, dead still, in case movement would cause the warm feeling to go away. It swirled around my hand for a while, increasing in heat. I felt that someone or something was there, gently and intently making contact. I'm not conscious of it having gone away, even when the intense swirling feeling eventually stopped.

Eventually I got out of bed, lit a candle, rolled out my yoga mat, tuned in, did some spinal flexes, some breathing, a short meditation. I payed attention to how I felt on a deeper level as I did each thing. I felt myself reviving slightly.

I drank some water and went into the garden to collect more flowers for a little box I had started filling a few days ago. Jasper (who follows me everywhere) came out with me. The dogs ran to greet me. I started to collect the blooms (dried Petria flowers). Being in the garden, I felt more energy returning.
Lower in the garden I noticed many bird feathers strewn all over the grass. From the kind of feathers I could tell that something had killed (and consumed) a mocking bird and a dove, mere feet away from each other. It wasn't Jasper because (a) he wouldn't go into the back garden with the dogs unless I was there and (b) had he caught birds he would have brought them for me. And I don't think it was the dogs either. I collected some of the feathers and added them to the box.

A while later I came to the front of the house and lay on the driveway, looking up at the clouds. They were similar to the way they were all of yesterday. When I used to fish, we would call those clouds 'fishing clouds' (also known as 'mackerel clouds' or altocumulus). They are said to indicate a good time for fishing. I lay on the ground with Jasper flopped next to me, feeling the earth sending something into my body. Above, the mackerel clouds (on the upper layer) were unmoving. Little wisps drifted by quickly, closer to earth.

It's been a while since I closely examined the other forms of life around me. I got up, went to a patch of plants and was looking at the shapes of the stones between them, expecting to find a heart or a quartz crystal, as I normally do. Instead, I saw a caterpillar, moving slowly and purposefully through the dry leaves. It occurred to me that the garden was its Universe and it was bravely exploring and going somewhere. I suddenly felt as though I was not taking advantage of the fact that I too live in a huge world - inner and outer.

Where are you going? was the first question that came into my head upon seeing it.

Are you me? was the next question in our silent conversation.
It seemed to be drawn to me. I deliberately kept shifting my position to see if it would turn and head my way ... and it did. Eventually it was on the driveway with me. I ran inside to get my camera and, when I returned, it was there, stationary and waiting.

I put my hand out and it started to move towards it. Wow. Now as I write this, I realise it was my left hand! The one that was getting the warm swirling energy early this morning ...
It climbed up. I enjoyed the feeling of its moist, cool little feet against my skin.
"Are you me?" I asked it again.


"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively.
"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

- Trina Paulus -

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Le Papillon Bleu

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."

- Hans Christian Anderson -
The Blue Morpho (source of image)
*
Yesterday evening I went to L'Alliance Française to see a Canadian film called "Le Papillon Bleu" (The Blue Butterfly) by Léa Pool.

Lovely film. A simple (based on a true) story containing warmth, humour, hope, lovely camera close ups of forest insects ... and unexpected suspenseful moments which had me and several other audience members jumping and crying out in our seats. I imagine it would not be as impacting on a small screen.

Amazing to learn in the note at the end that the little boy's healing after visiting the forest is part of the true story.

The true-life quest of a terminally-ill ten-year-old boy who longs to capture the most beautiful butterfly on the planet comes to life on the screen in a touching drama directed by Léa Pool and starring Academy Award-winner William Hurt. In order to appreciate life to its fullest, an ageing entomologist learns that sometimes all you have to do is come out of your cocoon. When the young boy's mother convinces the renowned insect-expert to accompany her son on the journey of a lifetime, the courage that the terminally-ill child shows in realizing his dream inspires a man who has lived his entire life in a lab to get outside, connect with his fellow man, and experience the wonder of nature firsthand.

(Source of summary)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Some people are suspicious when given to

Extra Extra
*
This morning before I went to buy coconut water I bought the three daily newspapers. I decided to buy an extra Express to give to the coconut man since he is standing up for most of the day and might want something to read. When I got there he was already reading a newspaper ... the Express. Someone had already bought one for him.

Driving back home with the extra Express, I was looking for someone on the road I could give it to, who might want it. The roads were strangely void of people until I came to the construction site which used to be the large field. Two workmen were getting out of a car. I slowed down near to them, held out the Express and said: "Hi, would you like a newspaper?"

The one closer to my car looked at me incredulously and laughed.

I said: "I bought it for the coconut vendor but he had one already, so it's an extra. You can have it if you want."

He looked suspicious. Was I giving him drugs?

He laughed again, almost nervously, and looked at his friend ... asking permission to accept the contraband. He then took the paper slowly from me and said: "No charge?"

"No," I said and I drove off.

It's not the first time I've experienced this. What makes some people suspicious or hesitant when someone (stranger or not) gives them something without wanting anything in return?

Monday, March 23, 2009

My Collaborator's Article for Alpha Sight


When my camera fell on February 14th I had gone online searching 'SONY' and 'LCD' to see if anyone had experienced something similar ... and, if so, what they had done about it. I didn't find anything in that vein, but I came across a site called Alpha Sight run by someone called Diego.

Reading his posts, I realised he was very knowledgeable about SONY cameras. I e-mailed him, told him what had happened to mine and asked for advice.

He took time to do research before getting back to me with a long, detailed e-mail outlining various options. I thereafter kept him updated and some time ago he asked me if I would write an article on the experience for his website. I did one and he posted it on Alpha Sight today as an article from "a collaborator".

You can read it here.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Reviewing last night

No, it's not a burn. It's the now blurred stamp which I got upon admission to the show
*
It's been ages since I've been to a pub or 'club scene'. When I stopped drinking and smoking years ago, that particular aspect of my social life dwindled to non-existence. The smell of smoke and stale pub/club alcohol now makes my stomach do cartwheels. And because I now naturally wake up so early every morning, once eight or nine p.m. passes, my body starts to wind down and go to sleep. Not conducive to late nights out on the town.

But last night I went to see A_Phake & DJ Irukandji's electronica performance, along with the backdrop of my extended video montage. Before going out, I slept for an hour or so. This refreshed me and enabled me to keep awake and alert until I got home close to one a.m.

The first band to perform was Gyazette. I didn't see their whole performance, since it was a while before I braved the smoky sardine tin. But from what I could hear outside, they sounded good and, as someone said: "Not too overpowering." Many bands feel they have to be loud (volume) in order to be powerful. Obviosuly Navid did a good job with the sound engineering.

It was the first time I've seen A_Phake and Irukandji perform. A_Phake's voice has an ethereal quality that merges well with Irukandji's electronica. His way of performing is unique, but not in the loud, overdone way of someone who is trying to be different because they think they must be in order to 'perform'. I was looking at him moving around in the hours before their performance - long, lanky, laid back, smiling, fraternizing, breaking into a little languid dance now and again, looking very 'at home' in his skin and amidst everyone in the sardine tin or out on the sidewalk. That's also how he comes across on stage ... just as himself. No need for acting and pretense.

Standing behind A_Phake, doing his 'thing' on the laptop, pumping out the original electronica was DJ Irukandji with his own way of being - quiet, unassuming, yet very present and connected to the pulse of the music and the audience. There was a quiet rapport going on between the two that spoke of passion, practice and professionalism.

Seeing my video images streaming on the screen behind them for their whole performance was magical. In a twist of synchronicity, A_Phakes lyrics and movements many times fitted perfectly with the elements of the moving visual backdrop which created a whole other world on the stage.

Patrice did a great job of promoting the act. I thought her reminders of the performance were prolific and consistent without becoming overwhelming and irritating. She's good at maintaining the presence necessary to get a name 'out there' and in the minds of the people ... at least, the underground people. It struck me last night how much of an underground world that 'scene' is. Especially in Trinidad, where soca music/Carnival is the main course (and unfortunately sometimes considered the only course) on our cultural menu.

My drink for the night was a bottle of water ($7). Low maintenance.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I'm back

View from the bedroom window early this morning.
*
Got to Tobago late last night (left on the 9:20 p.m. flight). We spent the night here. It's very simple, rustic, woody and natural, like living in little tree houses. We went to sleep very late, but I woke up early as usual ... maybe around 3 or 4 a.m. (?) It was freezing cold (due to being up on a height in the bush), still pitch black outside and took what felt like ages to get light. When dawn broke, the cocricos right outside the window were LOUD. Great starting the day so close to nature.
Each room has a little balcony ... shrouded by large trees
*
Off to an early start ... interesting work in Charlotteville. Synchronicity's first job. Short and sweet. Left Tobago on the 3 p.m. flight. For those who don't know, it takes twenty minutes to fly from Tobago to Trinidad - sister isles. (Or you can go by fast ferry, which takes two hours).

Flying back into Trinidad, I was observing the different aspects of the landscape.
We've got mountains ...
Swamps and rivers ...
Plains ...
Concrete ...


.

I am in Tobago

This post is one of those pre-scheduled ones. As I write this I am still in Trinidad, but as you read it, I will be in Tobago.

Synchronicity came back just in time ... like new and ready to start this new job. In Tobago (overnight and day only) I'll be working on my first assignment as a documentary still photographer for a particular project. Looking forward to the experience.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

My visuals NexDor @ A_PHAKE & IRUKANDJI this Saturday

A few days ago DJ Irukandji asked me to do an extended video sequence to accompany a performance by "Fresh House/Electronica act "A_PHAKE & IRUKANDJI" (see below ad and text courtesy DJ Irukandji ... for the event this Saturday). He said "You don't have to shoot anything new. You can use existing footage."

So I put together an approx 25 minute montage of some of my selected video works and moving images over the years. While I was compiling the images, seeing them together for the extended length of time that it took me to choose them and put them together, there was a point where I felt like an objective viewer. Suddenly I was no longer 'me' looking at my video creations. I found myself drawn in and mesmerised by the colours, textures, forms and overall visual essence streaming at me ... and I was impressed. It suddenly struck me : "Wow, you've done a lot of great work, girl!" (... if I must say so myself ...)
MASSIVE NIGHT ON THE AVENUE!!!! SUPER Trini-Rock band "GYAZETTE" -

captain of de ship
FRESH House/Electronica act "A_PHAKE & IRUKANDJI" - intensely pure like puncheon

DJ ARC: 9 ..............Igniting the AfterParty


DJ IRUKANDJI ........Shakin' d Structure


VISUALS by talented multimedia artist, Elspeth Duncan


Doors Open @ 8pm
Bands Start @ 9:30pm

AfterParty EXPLODES @ 11pm


Recession Buster price still in effect!!!!


Entry ONLY $30 !

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"Out of the Box" stimulates youth discussion

Production still: One of the young girls who worked with me on the film "Out of the Box".
*
The theme of this year's National Poetry Festival is "Defying the Disease through the Power of the Word: Resisting Stigma and Discrimination". The organisers are focusing on identifying innovative ways of addressing problems associated with HIV/AIDS. One of their points of focus is the role which can be played by the media in the reduction of stigma and discrimination.

In light of this, I was asked by the organisers to use one of the HIV-related films I've worked on for TTCRC. The first was Invisible.

I gave them the second and most recent film, Out of the Box, which I worked on with girls aged 12 - 17 over the 2008 Christmas holidays and into January 2009. The festival organisers screened it on Monday as part of National Poetry Week, at an event/panel discussion for school children at the National Library.

"Out of the Box" was the catalyst which stimulated a vital discussion post-screening. Read more in this media release from the Idakeda website, which outlines the event (see below):


Media Release

Young people speak frankly about dealing with HIV and AIDS in Trinidad and Tobago

A touching film about a family living with the discrimination caused by HIV and AIDS was the catalyst for an open and frank dialogue among young people attending the Poetry Festival Panel Discussion on Monday. The film 'Out of the Box' by Elspeth Duncan depicts an HIV positive mother and her children who do not have the virus, talking about the reactions from the rest of the community to their situation.

In discussing the main theme of the session 'The Role of the Media in Resisting Stigma and Discrimination' a number of important and concerning points came out. According to the young people present there is still a high prevalence of unprotected sex among their age group. Additionally, they admit that young people do not educate themselves about HIV and refuse to get tested either out of embarrassment, fear or simple ignorance.

They pointed out that another important reason for young people not being as proactive as they should be, is the perceived general lack of tolerance to the issue. This lack of tolerance they say, leads to insensitivity in the community and lack of confidentiality.

At the end of the discussion some very real solutions were recommended:

  1. Use community centres and spaces more effectively as sources of counseling and real help for young people
  2. Retrain health care workers. The young people complained that they would meet surly and unhelpful health care staff, who actually would not treat them with sensitivity or care once they know about your HIV positive status.
  3. Develop programmes specifically targeted towards parents to help with their knowledge, empathy and general awareness
  4. Increase the number of targeted programmes in schools
  5. Incorporate education about HIV and AIDS in the school curriculum, even at the primary level as a means of breaking down uninformed opinions and prejudice

We would like to thank the young people for their contributions and at Idakeda will continue to do our part to make a difference.

Stay with us on our journey ...

Sunday

On Sunday my riding pal Keshia and I left very early and went driving through the country. One last adventure before she checked in at the airport for midday to head back home to the States.

We went exploring lovely San Rafael and environs.

I didn't carry Synchronicity. I carried my Canon A620 (Love Bee) whose LCD screen conked out ages ago. There's no way of seeing the menu or operating anything like video, macro, changing ISO, using manual settings or even seeing if the battery is running down. The only thing that can be done now with that camera is to look through the viewfinder, click and hope to get something. Sometimes the photos don't get captured at all, sometimes they come out really dark, sometimes they're okay.

Here are the only shots (except for another one of the church) I took that morning which weren't almost completely black.
The old church at the triangular 'roundabout' in San Rafael
How ironic. St. Michael, meant to protect, needs to be protected himself (from vandals)
Cow traffic on a forested road
Words of wisdom in the bush at the roadside
Light rain as we head out of 'the bush' and to the airport.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

YESterday ended up having a lot of "No's" in it as I decided, for various reasons, to not do certain things.

I would have said "No" to them/not done them anyway ... but having written all of those "Yesses" in the morning made me more aware of when I was saying "No" and why.

It made me more aware of the Power of Now (... minus that last "w") to make the Power of Yes more impacting.

"No" was the cutlass, cutting away bushes and weeds, clearing new paths and space for blooming "Yes" flowers.

Sometimes I may not know what I want ... but I know what I don't want.

As Henry Kissinger said: "The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."

Monday, March 16, 2009

Yes

Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes 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Saturday, March 14, 2009

Letter to the Editor

This morning I sent this letter off to our three daily newspapers.


The Editor:

Someone once advised me: "If you agree to pay someone X amount of money, always pay them what you promised or more. Never change your mind and pay them less."

This morning I remembered this worthy piece of advice as I read in one of our daily newspapers that Fay-Ann Lyons-Alvarez's $1,000,000 prize money has been "slashed" by $250,000. Mere weeks ago, headlines in the papers screamed that this woman (performing pregnant over Carnival 2009) had created local history with her string of soca victories. Headlines following soon after proudly announced the successful birth of a bouncing baby girl to "Soca's Royal Couple".

Among other things, Fay-Ann is (listed in no specific order of importance) a woman, a wife, an artiste, a new mother, a citizen of Trinidad and Tobago. I see the 'slashing' of her prize money from $1,000,000 to $750,000 "due to the economic downturn in the country" as being more than just "unprofessional". I see it as a blatant symbol of how this Government regards and treats its citizens in general. It shows lack of respect for her as an artiste - and by extension all local artistes and our right to be fully recognized, to earn our due and to earn a good living as we create and sustain "the multi-culture" of which this nation so loves to boast. It shows lack of respect for her as a wife and mother - and by extension all mothers/parents/caregivers/citizens who, in this time of "economic downturn", struggle to find ways to feed, clothe and house themselves and their loved ones. It shows lack of respect for her newborn baby - and by extension, all of the children of Trinidad and Tobago who deserve to live in an honourable nation that provides, at the very least, basic necessities to guarantee their ongoing health, harmony and happiness.

Elspeth Duncan,
St. Augustine

Friday, March 13, 2009

Return of Synchronicity

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At last ... I got my camera back today.

Perfect timing.

Came in via UPS (which I will use from now on if/when I need to send anything).

Only $67.17TT (approx 10US) in courier fees to bring it in to TT.

I thought this would all have cost me an exhorbitant amount of money ... but in all I only ended up paying a total of approximately $300TT (approx $50US) to send to Texas and return.

Thanks to SONY Repair Centre for honouring the warranty - repairs/replaced part and shipping to US Skybox totally free. I'm really pleased with their swift and professional service.

And thanks to Gabriel too.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

A little environmental French lesson

Hier soir we had a somewhat dificil French exam. The reading comprehensions (two) were okay, but still left room for guessing. The first was about Paris pollution - the main form of environmental 'degradation' being dog owners not picking up their dogs' droppings. The second reading was about the Cannes Film Festival.

The listening comprehensions (two of them) were très dificils. Thankfully they were both mainly multiple choice. I guessed my way through them as the speakers rattled away incomprehensibly at top speed about an author and her books (in the first one) and carbon dioxide emissions, reforestation, bamboo, etc. (in the second one).

For the written part we were asked to write a short speech on the subject of the environment in Trinidad and Tobago - and solutions for the problems. Luckily the vocabulary I had been learning off and remembered most clearly came from the chapters on the environment and recycling. So as soon as I saw the subject, I quickly wrote down all the words I could remember and used them in my speech.

Here are just a few. Some of them I'll link to images, so you can click on them to see what they mean. If you're like me, you remember things better when you see them visually.

Veiller à - to take care of (i.e. people in Trinidad & Tobago ne veillent pas à l'environnement).

Le sac-poubelle - Trinis need to learn the meaning of this word and use it, literally (or rather litter-ally)!

La plage - where much rubbish is left le long de l'eau (along the water's edge) - e.g. des boîtes de conserve, des bouteilles en verre (which sometimes are brisées), des bouteilles en plastique, de la nourriture ...

Le recyclage (what we definitely need to be doing here on a large scale!)

Les déchets (N.B. The photo linked to here is not a TT image. It reminds me of some scenes in Slumdog Millionaire).

The solutions I offered were:
(i) Plus d'education dans les écoles et sur la télévision, la radio, etc.
(ii) Le recyclage
(iii) The people need to become more consciencieux in general (and not just be interested in les fêtes)
(iv) TT a besoin d'un miracle.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Raw Pancakes

Photo taken using laptop camera in Photobooth. Not an ideal camera for food photography.
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Breakfast this morning was a raw Coconut Breakfast Pancake made from a recipe in Ani's Raw Food Kitchen (the Ani Phyo Raw Food 'uncookbook' my sister Vanessa gave me for Christmas).

My pancake looks nothing like the ones in the photo in Ani's book, but it tasted great nevetherless. I topped it with slices of banana, diced apple and chopped Brazil nuts. Next time I may try some grated coconut or blend the fruits into a sauce rather than use them as chunks and slices. Or ... better yet, a combo of the 'fruit sauce' and some chunks/slices.
This is what Ani's pancakes look like
(N.B. photo of photo on page of book also taken using Photobooth. Image looks better in the book of course).
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I like this book. The recipes are quick, easy and varied, the photos are mouthwatering, the tone is conversational and welcoming and there is a clear overall presentation of simple food facts, tips and useful information.

The pancakes are basically:

2 cups whole flax seeds or 3 cups flax seed meal (I used the latter)
2 tablespoons liquid coconut oil
1/2 cup agave or maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 cup water

You mix everything together, roll into about four balls, flatten (about 1/4 - 1/2 inch thick). Top with fruits of choice. The batter lasts up to four days in the fridge, so I've had it available to me since yesterday when I first made it. I have two 'balls' left, waiting to be flatted and tried with different toppings tomorrow.

Slumdog Millionaire


Wow. Last night I went to a movie premiere of Slumdog Millionaire (in aid of CREDO). I can definitely see why it won all those awards.

The cinematography, the directing, the casting/acting, the soundtrack, the story, the camera work, the editing, the textures, colours, landscapes, locations, the overall style ... everything was amazing the way it fitted together. I, who am famous for falling asleep five minutes into a movie, actually saw it through to the end ... closing my eyes briefly only once when he was answering a question in studio (and only at that moment because I knew there wouldn't be any of those beautifully framed and textured shots from his memory to be missed).

Without giving away too much of it, my favourite part was when he kissed her scar. After an entire lifetime of waiting and wanting, that is where he chose to kiss first. This choice spoke volumes to me.

Lovely movie. Better seen on a big screen than on a TV.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Latest on "Synchronicity", my camera

With Synchronicity before the 'adventure'
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Several people have been asking me what is happening with Synchronicity.

RECAP: I sent my camera via courier to the States on 16 February 2009.

After an unexpectedly long and frustrating period of waiting and wondering, on 3 March, my DHL online status update finally indicated that someone at Sony in Texas had signed for my camera.

The next day, 4th March, I received correspondence from Sony with details of my service number, etc (so that I could check repair progress online). I checked that very day and there was no report yet.

The next day, 5 March, I once again checked the status of my camera online and was surprised to see this message: The Sony product that you have inquired about was shipped back to you.

What?! I couldn't believe it. So quickly?! One day after they had received it?!! Sony states that prior to starting repairs, they send the customer a quote and then proceed once the customer agrees. I had received no such quote ... and, as the camera had accidentally dropped, I wasn't even sure if the warranty would have been honoured.

There were no details accompanying the message that my camera was being shipped back, so wondered what was going on. I wrote to ask them what had been done with the camera.

Almost immediately I got this response:

Greetings Elspeth Duncan

We are pleased to inform you that the repair of this Digital SLR Camera was restored to factory specifications. According to the technician's report the LCD screen was replaced as well as a part that is described as a CV LCD Lower Cov. You should not have any more problems with this unit in the future.


The package was returned via UPS 3 Day Service and shipped to the following address:
(Sky Box address) If you have any additional questions, please feel free to contact us.

After the frustrating delays with the courier service and US customs, the SONY experience was a dream. Swift, efficient, honouring my warranty (free repairs), shipping at their cost to the Sky Box, all within two days. I am highly impressed with SONY's customer service ... from the time I made my first two overseas calls to them to report the problem and get advice ... to the time they received the camera and communcated with me. They have been professional, knowledgeable, responsive and courteous.

Whenever I check UPS online, it is up to date - scheduled to arrive at a friend's Skybox in Miami today. I went yesterday to the UPS office to give them the customs form so I won't have to pay the exorbitant fees of a new camera when Synchronicity comes in - most likely by the end of this week, all things permitting.

As I walked into the UPS office I instantly knew that I was in the right place. I had walked into a big bright box of Love. The entire office had hearts of all shapes and sizes pasted upon the walls and hanging from the ceiling in clusters and on globes/worlds. I felt like I had come full circle back to the Valentine's Day when my camera had fallen ... only this time, in a much better place.

Monday, March 9, 2009

I hope you fall in love with Sally and adopt her

Photos courtesy Kristen Alcantara
"Sally" was the name on the yellow vet card hanging on the gate of her cage
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On Saturday four friends and I met to discuss how we, as artists, could best use our creative talents to support local animal organisations and speak out on behalf of animals. It was a short, sweet meeting. We each have various talents which we've agreed to offer gratis to necessary projects.
Sally comes to give a nose kiss
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After the meeting, Patti dropped three of us (me, Kris and Kim) back to the TTSPCA to get our cars. Before leaving, we went into the back to see the animals (cats and dogs) some of whom are boarders, some lost (waiting to be found), some strays (in need of homes) and some puppies/kittens (up for adoption). As much as I hate to see caged animals, I was impressed by the clean, spacious spaces in which these animals are kept. Children have painted bright, colourful murals on the walls, large pet bowls are filled with clean water and ample food, the tiled floor of each little 'apartment' is freshly mopped and clean (except for the odd 'load') and the smells are pleasant. These animals look comfortable and well cared for, unlike the TTSPCA of yore which would have made even a hater of animals feel depressed.
I already love you
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There are so many lovely and loving animals at the TTSPCA. Sadness comes only from the realisation that you can't take each one home or find him/her a loving owner immediately. We walked along the corridor of cages, playing with each dog (except for the one whose card said 'aggressive') and eventually got to the 'puppies for adoption' section.

It was there that I saw and immediately fell in love with Sally. Take a look at those photos Kris took of her. She's a million times more cute in real life. I reached out to play with her and a nearby TTSPCA volunteer instantly said to me in a kind but firm tone: "Did you see the sign? Did you wash your hands? Puppies can easily pick up germs and get sick." I was impressed that she cared enough to ask me if I had washed my hands. It shows these animals are being looked out for even on that level of hand-washing-before-playing-with.

If I could have, I would definitely have claimed Sally, there and then, without a second thought. But I won't be able to. My sincere hope is that someone (in Trinidad/Tobago) who sees this post will fall in love with Sally and go to see her in real life. Whoever you are, you won't be able to leave TTSPCA without claiming this special puppy as your own. Before you can take her home, the TTSPCA will come and check your premises to ensure that they are suitably fenced, etc for Sally ... and then everything else will be organised accordingly for her to move in with you.

So go to the TTSPCA asap and ask to see 'Sally" in the puppy section. You will not be disappointed. In that short space of time, I could tell - she is a gentle, loving, playful, respectful animal who would LOVE and be a totally loyal companion for you, her new owner.

Thanks in advance.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Welcome home, my friend

(From l. to r): Keshia A., Dara N. and Elspeth D. at our "2013 reunion" last year.
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Last night I went to meet my friend Keshia A at the airport. She flew in from Miami, as she does at least once or twice a year. She's already been here once for the year already. This time she'll be spending seven days.

We met when she had come here years ago as a Fulbright scholar to do research. She was living just across from the corner of my street. Once introduced, we quickly became main sidekicks and, to this day, she is one of my dearest friends, a sister and kindred spirit. There are just some people in life who instinctively and unquestioningly know, love, understand and support you fully for who you are - and she is definitely one of them.

She returns so often to TT because she fell in love with it while she was here. It resonates with her spirit and feels like 'home' in a way that her birthplace and the place where she lives and works (the US) does not.

Whenever she comes, it is inevitably a mutually fun and healing experience, full of magic, growth, excitement, great conversations, laughter, inspiration, realisation, adventures and more.

Let the good times roll ...

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Tribute to a Kindred Spirit

Jasper
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This morning I was up early as usual. I sat at my computer in the glow of the lamplight, working steadily and with focused determination on something important. After what must have been a long while (because by the time this happened, the sun was up ... and I hadn't even realised), my concentration was broken by Jasper, who jumped onto my lap, purring.

The way he jumped was not steady. He tottered a bit before settling. I squeezed him tightly, recognizing in that moment of tottering that he is 'getting on in years'. He is now ten. I got him in 1998. He was born to a tabby cat named Lily (ironic, since that's the name of the novel I started writing a while around then) who lived under a friend's house. He was so small when I got him and on the drive home he sat perched on my shoulder like a bird.

I was living with my then house mate Frances who absolutely hated cats ... but somehow she accepted Jasper. Maybe because at that time we were living in a huge house and Jas spent his time in my room (which in itself was almost the size of a small apartment) and the balcony which ran along the length of it, which he used to access the great outdoors. From the word go, he was very loving and attached to me.

Standing at the sink brushing my teeth, if I happened to have on track pants or jeans (anything long), I would feel little claws climbing up me, as if I were a tree, from my ankles to my shoulder, to perch like a bird, where he would sit looking at us reflected in the mirror. Playing my keyboard sitting cross legged on the ground (as I used to play it then), the little claws would clamber up to my back to my shoulder and sit perched, watching my fingers on the keys.

The clambering had to stop when he got bigger and heavier!

I remember him once upon a time approving a friend of mine, V. We had fallen asleep and she was awakened in the night by something cold and clammy in her hand. When she checked, there was a dead lizard placed neatly in her upturned palm, with Jasper sitting nearby purring. To this day we laugh at the memory of that.

Over the years Jasper has moved with me three times and has never strayed or run away. Wherever I am with him, that is home. He has been an affectionate, loving, protective and understanding companion over these years. We have a silent understanding of each other. Those who don't have cats will not understand ... but there is a special and indescribable bond that exists between the feline and its human companion.

There are times when Jasper will wake me up in the morning by pressing one of his paws into my heart chakra, as though to activate it and/or say in his own way "I love you". Amazingly, he does this on Valentine's Day and Christmas Day and sometimes on out of the blue days, like yesterday. Instinctively, whenever I am embarking upon the menstrual cycle, he presses his paw into my stomach and massages it (those who have cats will know the cat massage), before I myself even know what is to come.

Whenever I am coming home, he is either sitting at the gate waiting for me or is at the door to welcome me in. He will run out to sniff my car ... to smell the stories of where I've been.

Sometimes he's a huge lion, hunting for prey, chasing neighbour's dogs out of the garden and down the road, attacking strange cats that enter the yard. Sometimes he's a frightened kitten ... scared of thunder, loud noises, workmen and one of the strange cats that might, on occasion, overpower him.

When he jumped onto my lap today and I felt his age, a wave of sadness passed over me - but it quickly passed as I felt my heart literally open up in great appreciation for having this special spirit companion in my life. Our animals are sent to us. In many ways he's still young, playful and very healthy, still gets up to mischief ... and I'm sure he has a long way to go.

There was something about today, the way he jumped onto my lap ... I knew that he knew that I was working on something important ... and that he was saying: "I'm here with you while you do it ..."

Thank you, Jasper, for being.


Sunday Scribblings: Listen up, this is important

Friday, March 6, 2009

Sending Letters


This week is/has been Campus Literature Week and today I was one of six writers who read their work in Amphitheatre B of the Eric Williams Medical Sciences Complex at Mount Hope.

I read Sending Letters, a piece I wrote when I was at the three week Cropper writers' coastal retreat in Balandra last year. It is a true story. Everything in it is real, even though it may sound surreal. It's based on events connected to and extending beyond a walk along the coastline - to post a special letter I had written. Had I not written the letter and gone for the walk to post it, none of what happened would have happened.

I guess every story has its own story behind it.

Today's other readers included a few of the other writers who had been at Balandra with me: June, Barb, Vashti, Simone. It was good seeing them again.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Might apply to you

Source of map
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If you're from any one of these countries highlighted in yellow (Commonwealth) then this may be of interest to you.

(Trinidad & Tobago and other islands are there, but are too small on this map to be seen easily).

It so happens that I have two maps one day after the next on my blog. As I wrote in a comment on yesterday's post ... (I don't know if anyone picked up on it) ... I had altered the map I included there yesterday. By being denied a visa, that entire landmass on this one globe of ours is currently inaccessible to me and therefore does not exist ... at least as far as going there stands.

The irony is that it exists in my life in so many other ways ... whether I can go there or not and whether I like it or not.

The landmass I cannot currently go to is all over my radio, all over my TV, all over my computer screen/internet, all over my e-mail (friends who live there), all over products I may buy, use or consume, all over my country (clothing, attitudes, US companies/businesses, even accents!! Trinis - e.g. our local radio announcers - talk in American accents when on air and slip back into Trini when off) ...

It is everywhere around me/US (pun intended).

Ironic that the very initials are US, yet in many ways it chooses to be so exclusive and excluding. In my vocabulary the word 'US' is embracing, warm, inclusive.

Yesterday I was one of a few in a creative meeting with two women who have come down from New York ... to explore/discuss possible future work and development of creative content and programming. Normally this would not strike me, but as I drove to the meeting ... I thought "Wow. Coming into 'my' country without needing a visa and, more so, to explore work-related issues" ... (something that most 'visa' people don't want foreigners to do in their country).

This whole visa thing has stirred up many thoughts and feelings in me. (Thoughts and feelings which extend beyond "the visa" - so it's not like I'm going on about "not getting the visa". That's not the point any more). Since childhood, something that has always been a personal subject of contemplation and inner exploration for me (on many levels and in many areas) has been the sense of belonging ... the question of where I 'belong', where I 'fit' - personally, geographically, creatively, lifestyle ... the list goes on. It's not easy to explain ... and maybe I don't have to.

But ... in time to come, it is something I will explore - and may share (or not) - since it's on my mind.






Wednesday, March 4, 2009

One World?


My travel destinations
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I stand on the pavement outside of the battleship grey (sorry ... 'gray') building with its bars, cameras and security guards. Only for personal reasons (and this being the procedure one must go through) will I stand in this line, like one of a herd of cattle.

A disembodied female voice over the intercom blares out the list of documents we must have ready and ...

"NO ELECTRONIC ITEMS INTO THE BUILDING! If you have a cellular phone, take it BACK to your car or PAY to leave it in the shop at the corner!"

When it is time, they begin to herd us one by one through the heavy gates, checking our bags upon entry.

I am standing behind a woman with a baby in her arms and two bags on her shoulders. The female guard barks at her from behind the closed gate:

"You CAN'T go in there with your cellular phone! Take it BACK to your car!"

Her father is with her. He quietly takes the phone from her and walks away with it.

"You CAN'T go in there with two bags!!!"

"But one has the baby's things in it," the young woman responds softly. I see her body stiffening ... perhaps with fear and anger.

Long silence.

The guard eventually snaps: "Okay!"

She opens the gate, just enough to let the woman, baby and two bags squeeze through. Open too wide and the whole herd might come stampeding in.

My turn. I am let in. My bag is checked. No explosives or weapons. I am allowed to move forward. Through the metal detector. No beeps. I am told to follow the woman in front of me to the line and to have my documents ready.

I submit my passports and completed forms. I go to sit down. I watch people enter. Some look like they've been through this so many times they know it by heart. Some look hopeful. Some are expressionless. Some nervous. Everyone is moving carefully, lest they say or do the wrong thing.

I've never seen Trinis so well behaved.

A woman emerges from the metal detector and enters the space where we are. I can see only her eyes. The rest of her is shrouded in a heavy black hijab. Everyone is looking at her, perhaps wondering the same thing that is crossing my mind ...

"Will they give it to her?"