
Yesterday, from the moment I woke up, I was focused and absorbed, busy cleaning and clearing, throwing away, playing some good music in the background as I did so. I was feeling purposeful, happy about lightening up the energy, about the feeling of clearing space and getting rid of 'old', excited about new things to come and that "Life is good ..."
Then at one point, around 3 p.m., I stopped, sat down ... and suddenly started to feel very low in energy. Everything within me dropped and I just sat there. My sense of focus and purpose quickly turned to disillusionment, apathy and doubt as I slipped into the 'What am I doing with my life? Does any of what I do make sense? Why do I do it?" mode that I sometimes slip into after I've poured a significant amount of energy into a project that leaves me empty after, with nothing visible or tangible to show for it ... but yet with a great intangible, energetic feeling. In other words, the kinds of projects that I really love doing and would happily absorb myself in, that come from the heart and spirit, that really touch and move people and myself in the process ... but which don't (yet) seem to translate into the 'real world' of buying material necessities and paying bills ...
After a few minutes of pensive moping, I suddenly remembered the little yellow bag with the candle and Sunflower seeds ...



Doing this activity, I felt my energy shift. Even though so small an act, I felt that something big had happened. At the very least, it distracted me from my own mind. Now as I sit here writing this, I know that the doubt, disillusionment and apathy I was feeling in that moment yesterday were caused by me projecting ahead of 'the now' (Desirée, if you're reading this, I dropped that link in for you) and worrying about what I really don't need to worry about.
In the moment of worrying about bills or buying things do I actually have to pay a bill or buy anything?
No.
So why worry about it?
In the moment of worrying about bills or buying things do I actually have to pay a bill or buy anything?
No.
So why worry about it?