Thursday, February 11, 2010

Is your Beloved: (a) Self (b) Other (c) Both?

Heart seen yesterday while leaving a friend's house

The Tongue Lingers have been made and will be delivered/collected today. I'm happy with them and I know that those on the receiving end will be as well.

When I first advertised them a few days ago, a friend called and said: "I wish I had a Beloved to order Tongue Lingers for." I understood her wistfulness, but as we acknowledged in further conversation, you really just have to be your own Beloved first and foremost, as 'challenging' or 'alone' as it may seem sometimes. It's worth it.

Interestingly, of the three orders for Tongue Lingers (all three are female), two of them are ordering for themselves ... treating themselves as their Beloveds, since they are single (or solo, as Alanis puts it). I'm not sure if the third Tongue Lingerer is ordering for another-as-Beloved or self-as-Beloved ... or both. (a), (b), (c).

Love = (a)(b)(c)

Most of my friends are single, as am I. We're not the kinds to 'be in a relationship' just for the sake of it or because we can't be 'alone' ... although, being human, we have our moments. We will soon be experts - if we aren't already - at option (a) given in the multiple choice above. According to my friend Nic, this is good because we are whole people (or becoming-wholer people) who want relationships with other whole people ... not half people who will fill a space for a while. She says many half people come together to form an illusory whole, which never lasts long ... and if it 'lasts', they're either not happy or are expending a lot of energy trying to 'make it work'.

Well, (a) is a lifelong process and, while it continues, I declare in this moment that I'm open and ready for (b) ... as intangible as it may seem right now. But intangible is where it all begins. In time, intangible vapours become clouds that send rain to make vast oceans.

Oceans of (c).


Tammy-Jade™ said...


Paula Obe said...

i like the theory of two wholes coming together,,,this makes so much sense...perhaps i am in that process of developing my entire 'whole' i feel it deep withing that my 'beloved' in their 'wholeness' is already on that journey.... Happy Valentine's Day to all those 'wholes' looking for their 'whole'

Unknown said...

"But intangible is where it all begins. In time, intangible vapours become clouds that send rain to make vast oceans."

I like that :p

Anonymous said...

During a period when I didn't have an OTHER beloved, I learned to enjoy being my own beloved...taking myself on dates to the movies and to dinner, romantic walks on the beach. I would buy myself flowers, too. Even though I'm in a relationship now, I still enjoy a movie or dinner by myself when I can get away with it.

The Wanderer said...

Love it. :)


The like the wholer concept and like the line 'being an human, we have our moments.'